Living on Autopilot

The last couple of years have been hard. We have adjusted and then readjusted to whatever life throws our way. Some of you reading this have lost loved ones; others have lost careers; and some of you seem to have “perfect” lives on the surface, yet you still struggle to find your way. Every day you turn on the news or log into your social media, you are slammed with warnings of new variants, food shortages, and violence. Last week in my hometown of Memphis, Tennessee, we experienced the terror of a citywide shooting spree. We watched in sadness as Eliza Fletcher was found dead after being kidnapped during her morning run. All of these experiences just in one week led many of us to finally verbalize that WE ARE TIRED!

I honestly still can't believe that we finally said it. We were openly honest about our feelings. Despite the courage, it took to admit we are tired, and our plea for a mental health day for our city, we got up the next morning and shifted our gears back to autopilot. Autopilot allowed us to return to our normal routine despite the anxiety; despite the feelings of emotional fatigue. As I walked the hallways of the hospital, we said our normal good morning greetings; we held our normal side conversations in the lunchroom. Despite the heaviness in our hearts, we continued to function throughout the day without processing our feelings or taking the time to decompress.

Living on autopilot does not allow you the time or space to work through your emotions. It doesn't allow you time to rest and reset. Living on autopilot can lead to high-functioning depression and anxiety. You keep moving; you keep accomplishing tasks; and time passes by, but yet you still feel lost. Some people can live their entire life on autopilot. They raise children; go to work; and smile for the camera. For others, living on autopilot has cost them their lives. If you are tired of living on autopilot; living in a routine that makes you feel stuck; ready to “live” again; and deal with your emotions below the surface level, then keep reading. Below I have listed five ways to turn off autopilot and live again.

Self-Reflection/Journaling:

There is so much happening all around us. It is important to take the time for self-reflection and work through your emotions. Journaling is a way to release your emotions and decompress. Journaling is a way to freely express how you feel without judgment, reduce stress and anxiety. Try to start and end your day with journaling. Journaling may help you realize triggers and identify ways to manage them. For some journaling can provide a sense of gratitude. Journaling is a great way to learn more about yourself and determine ways you can take control of your life and stop functioning on autopilot.

Find the Courage to Let Go:

We all have something we know we need to let go of. Some of us have held on to people, jobs, and titles for too long. We know that it causes us stress; we know that we have outgrown these things; but because it is familiar we can't let go. Create a realistic action plan and make a decision to move forward in a different direction. It is never too late to start over.

Talk with Your Sister-Friends:

As women, we sometimes pride ourselves on being “superwoman” or being strong. It is important to have friends who support you. Your sister-friends should be a group of women whom you can be honest with. If you are struggling with anxiety and depression, and you don't feel like yourself, let your sister-friends know. Time can pass by quickly, so schedule monthly calls or weekly texts. Create a safe place for you and your friends to keep open- communication.

Try Something New:

If you are tired of the same old routine, try something new. Start a new hobby or volunteer. We are constantly evolving and changing. What worked for you before you became a wife, mom, or started your career, may not reflect who you are today. Find the courage to find yourself again, so you can get out of autopilot and live!

Seek Treatment:

If you find yourself in a continuous downward spiral or full of negative thoughts and emotions, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Therapy and counseling can help you work through those feelings. Some people have chemical imbalances and/or vitamin and nutritional deficits that result in emotional disorders such as depression and anxiety. Schedule your routine follow-up visits for evaluation and seek medical treatment if you feel unbalanced.

We are on this journey of wellness together. Everyone’s journey will be different. Your journey to wellness will require you to get out of autopilot and complete the required maintenance checks to live a balanced holistic life. Spend time with yourself; do the work; and actively seek help when needed. We have already made the conscious decision that we are tired, now we must put in the work to Make Wellness our Best Accessory!

Your Sister in Wellness,

Lauren